HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT ESCORT FOR YOU
August 21st, 2023 by Lexx Soule
You may of read my previous blog, Why Would Someone Hire An Escort, in that blog I wrote a small phrase referencing ‘selected escorts’, in the context I was referring to travel companions. While a lot of providers may be open to the idea of traveling to another city or country with you, not all are compatible with you, and the same goes for your sexual desires. Some men offer a porn star experience. Some require 10 minutes to get into rhythm and a steady flow, some are sensual tantric masters. Some require you to fill out security forms and pass on photo identification. Some are happy posting their cock for the world to see for free. Depending on the service you are after, is the type of provider best suited to your needs.
In this short blog I aim to educate you on how to choose the right male provider for you, while highlighting some safety measures for you to be aware of at the end. All the information in this blog is based off my own knowledge and experience, so please be safe and use some of your own common sense, and knowledge when choosing the right provider for you. This blog will be spoken in the context of a heterosexual male provider as that is what I identify as, if you identify differently and contest what I have to say, please go back and read sentence two of this paragraph again.
The first question you need to ask before searching for an escort is “what do I want out of this?”
Do you just want a one night fling, do you potentially want a recuring thing, do you need a social date to accommodate you to all your friends weddings? Have you left your husband of 20 years, have some money behind you and now want a boy toy to fuck you when you need it and reward with holidays & gifts when you feel generous? Maybe you are an older woman who is now A-sexual and would just love some company to breakfasts, hiking, and the movies.
Before even beginning to look at the cute, sexy, luring photos of men, you need to ask yourself “What do I want out of this?”
Next ask yourself what you are willing to spend, what is your budget. This is important because when we talk about the next topic ‘looks’, you might find the industry’s biggest and best the most attractive, only find out he is $600+ per hour. Are you taking him to dinner first? Will you pay for a hotel, or will you save money and have the rendezvous at your place, or if offered, their place? These are things you must take into consideration. So again, ask yourself “What do I want out this?” then ask, “How much am I willing to spend?”
Once you have established what you want & your budget move onto looks. Not just his photo’s, but also how his profile is laid out, it doesn’t have to be the latest and greatest, but it should be put together in a way that shows the man respects himself & his business. Looks is quite simple, go through the directory of your choice and find the most attractive looking men in your eyes. Now, before you cross check his hourly rate with your budget do this one small step.
Read his Biography & look through the social media links he provides. This is important because you might desire someone who has really good conversation for the dinner you’re about to treat him too. Check his grammar and English to see if he appears well educated & has life experience (good emotional intelligence), he doesn’t have to have a bachelors in major English either, but just like the profile, does his biography look like he put a genuine effort into representing himself. You might find a website or blog, similar to this one, furthering your confidence in his ability to confer & connect with you on a deeper level. Social media is a big one today, taking some time to see if the content he posts aligns with his profile and perceived brand, will go a long way ensuring you get what you want.
Now! Cross check everything with your budget. The reason you cross check is because you might find the perfect looking guy, who has an incredible biography, but! He is one of the more expensive escorts. Your favourite might be $600 an hour and the next best candidate is $300 an hour, your initial budget was $1,000 for 4 hours, what will you do?
You might decide it is worth indulging and spending that little bit extra for this occasion or you might play it safe and go for the next best. Who knows maybe the dollar value turns out to just be a number and the next best becomes the next month.
Okay so you have your goal, you have a date in mind, you have your selected man. NOW WHAT! “Hey, how are you”, “Hi”, “Whn r u avilble”. These 3 examples are a few of THE WORST introductions you could send. Some escorts are okay with a phone call, some only want SMS, some want an email. You’ve done your research so you already know which is their preferred method of contact, now you just take a breath and introduce yourself. “Hello ______(Providers name), my name is ________. I found your profile on_________(Directory) and would like to hire you for a _________(Type of service e.g. sexual service/ companionship/ dinner date) on ______ (date) at _______(time).
Are you available?
The template that has been given above would light up your escorts face! It is polite, you introduce yourself, you tell him what you want, when you want it and for how long you want to see him. Professional providers who are serious about their work could not ask for a better message then this, it shows a mutual understanding and respect, it is almost impossible to not be seen. Then just be patient & wait for his response
Some escorts including myself have security forms listed in the contact section of our directories for you to fill out. Some, including myself will request for photo ID. This is because just like how you are paying to meet a stranger, we sex workers are being paid to meet a stranger.
My security form looks like this:
Date & day of service:
Length of service:
Type of service:
Location of service:
Please attach a portrait photo & photo ID
Most of that is just tailored to the booking. If your initial message doesn’t follow the original template I gave you and you said something similar to this “Hey Lexx, I want to book you for a massage & sex tonight, are you available?”, that is okay, you are still being relatively politely and directly asking for the service you desire. This is when I would say something like “Hey, thank you for reaching out to me, yes I am available tonight and would love to give you a massage & sex. Please complete the security form below to progress with your booking”, I would attach my template and wait for a response to progress with the booking.
Now most escorts don’t use their real names while working, so some may not be willing to share their drivers’ licence or identification card, and look that is just the way it works. However, what you have as your security is the directory you found the man on and his social media. If an escort was to misuse your confidential information, try to blackmail you, stalk you or anything else of malicious intent you could simply send an email to the directory, and they would most likely help you find a solution. Because chances are if the provider has done it once they have done it before and/ or will do it again.
Before going onto the final stages of choosing your escort, let’s talk about a travel companion. Now I have not had the luxury of being a travel companion yet, however being a service I provide, I want to talk about a recommended way to plan it. It might seem like common sense, but you can never be too sure. Before committing to a weekend away in the hinterland of Victoria with your boy toy from Brisbane, you should meet them a few time, have good conversation, have a coffee together or a lunch. Maybe you live in Sydney and multiple face to face meetings is too expensive before the adventure, ask to arrange a Zoom or Skype call. This is a cheaper and easier way to get to know your escort before committing.
So you have your reason, you have your budget, you have found the man, you have made the booking, paid your deposit, organised the remaining funds. NOW WHAT?!
Depending on the service you have asked for will determine what you need to get ready. If it’s a simple dinner date, pick out your favourite dress, provide yourself some more TLC by doing your hair (doing it at home is fine), maybe you want to do a light hydration face mask to brighten your skin and make you feel sexy & divine (don’t risk using a new product), put on some light perfume, and organise your transportation.
If it’s just some fun sex in your bed, make the room presentable, make your bed, open the windows for a few hours prior, put the air conditioner on, put anything you don’t want seen out of clear site, light a scented candle if that’s your thing. Like the dinner maybe you want to have a skin brightening face mask prior (don’t risk using a new product), clean your teeth and apply some light perfume. You can leave your hair, it’s going to get messy anyway.
If it’s a travel companion service you have hired, tell your safest friend or family member the location, the escorts name and his social media and profile details. Know where you are going, how you will both be getting there, what you will need to pack etc. like I said earlier a lot of this comes down to a little common sense. If you’re travelling somewhere that escorting is illegal, for example South Australia, have that brief conversation about who you both are and why you are together. Chances are nothing will happen, but better to be safe.
Now you’re meeting each other, he is walking towards you. Sharp jaw, cute smile, your eyes lock, he knows it’s you, you know it’s him, your butterflies are going crazy. Take a break, take a breath and just introduce yourself as you would anyone else you have just met, “Hi, ________(escort name)?”, greet with a gentle kiss on the cheek and hug “lovely to meet you! How are you?” and from there let the conversation flow. It’s fascinating to learn that most interactions just appear normal if you let them. Do be wary of the questions you ask in public spaces though, for your own comfort & the providers. Questions like “Why did you become an escort?”, “Do you like being an escort?”, “What is the sex industry like?” are questions best suited to quiet, secluded areas. Talk to them as if they were a “normal” person. If it’s a sexual interaction sure sexualise the conversation by saying something like “I’m excited to feel your body against mine”, “I’m a little nervous, I’ve never been with a man like you before”, if it is a social companionship styled date, get to know them as a person “what have you done in the last week, month, year, decade?” “How was their travel to the rendezvous? Did the uber driver want to talk a lot?” “What are you most looking forward to about the experience with me?”. A good escort will be able to flow with these types of questions & reciprocate good questions back. Using words like escort, sex worker, provider, getting paid for sex bring the attention on to the both of you, which I’m going to guess neither of you really want.
Escorts will discuss payments individually, but now that you are in the midst of your booking, enjoy it, and stay present. Learn about another humans life, most escorts have fascinating stories to tell and are excellent communicators, share some of your own. If it’s a sexual booking enjoy your time, let him know at the beginning of the booking if you would like him to lead or if you’re going to be top and want to teach your boy a thing or two. Constantly checking in with each other to make sure both parties are enjoying themselves. And always remember be Safe, Sane, And Consensual (A mantra typically referred to in kink but should be something across all forms of sexual interactions).
After your booking concludes nothing happens until the next appointment, unless you two have privately agreed on conditions of contact. Some people like ongoing contact. Personally, I like to check in the next day and thank the client for choosing me as their provider, and make sure that they feel good. Because I understand that paying to see an escort can take a toll on you mental, spiritually, and physically, while also potentially being one of the most rewarding & fulfilling experiences. But it is also my gesture of good will to show you that you matter to me as a client, and that I respect you as a human being.
Before we conclude this blog I would like to walk through some warning signs to look for in escorts. Some sign you may not be able to work out until you meet them unfortunately, others are pretty standard.
Spam follow ups.
If you sent a good genuine enquiry using the methods listed above, then before you can reply to their confirmation message, you receive an abundance of spam messages saying, “Would you like to book!”, “Hey are you going to book me”, “I need to know if you are going to book” red flag. A follow up message is acceptable, depending on the message the client has sent I will follow up anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour, or even a couple days. Spam messaging is a sign that they do not care about you & have not got anything else happening with their life.
Only 1,2 and I even go as far as 3 photos on their profile
This comes back to the looks and self-presentation. They are not giving you a clear picture of what they look like, what they’re going to be wearing when they show up, or who they are. You want someone who at least puts 4 clear photos of themselves up, yes faces might be blurred but you can distinctly see their body, their fashion, any tattoos, on some directories their cock. To qualify them simply ask for your own security picture of them.
When on a date only talks about themselves
Unfortunately this is one of those warning signs that you won’t pick up on until they are right there in front of you. Unfortunately, there are men who carry their egotistic personality into escorting without realising it. You know the type, and it’s not just a good conversation where they are talking about their experiences, but a conversation where you will not speak and you will listen to him brag about how many girls he has had, how big his dick is, or how many times a day he goes to the gym. And no, it’s not just the stereotype I just mentioned that do this. The little Mr. Perfects are fantastic at it too.
Tries to befriend you
Some clients like an occasional conversation, it’s only natural, you’re paying someone for a service, you might want to check in once and a while, it builds good repour and good connection. Some escorts are against this, some clients are against this. As an escort we must read the conversation to understand someone’s motives, I have a couple girls that are not sex workers, but also not clients, that I talk to from time to time on social media. Usually just small chit chat, or little flirtatious remarks at one another’s post, while this may be seen as unprofessional to some people I disagree. Because in my context I’m just having conversation with another human being, I like to talk to people, I like listening to people, so small conversations between selected people who understand the nature of what I do and show mutual respect for time & energy is perfectly fine. HOWEVER!
as a client if you have made a simple booking, date is confirmed, details are finalised, and that said escort is trying to have a D&M with you every day, trying to get personal, that is a warning sign. Maybe I’m wrong (I get things wrong sometimes), it might be apart of their service, but I will go out on whim here and say most escorts won’t have that as part of their service. I always confirm the details again a day before the scheduled date, that is good, but someone who is trying to be your “friend” before the scheduled booking is a warning for me. Save the conversation and repour building for the night.
Hopefully this blog has been educational for you, some of you may have read this and said “DURH”, which is good you already know what is expected and how to find your right man. For other who have learnt something, amazing! You now have some simple tips to help you find the right escort you need. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, if you have any questions about the blog or would even like to share your views my inbox is always open for respectful discussions. If you are a sex worker yourself and would like to share your views on the knowledge I have shared today, or some of your own knowledge from your experiences please contact me for a respectful conversation.
For any enquires about my services or to make a booking please contact me via SMS or email.
0411 316 973
Until next time!