Bad Boy Lexx #4 (Just Around The Corner)
There is something about going on long adventurous drives that is comforting, relaxing, and cool. Late night driving with the moon shining, minimal traffic (usually), and mild temperature; setting excellent moods for deep, life impacting decisions; getting back with an ex; having spontaneous, exciting, nerve racking, sex; and breaking up with a girlfriend. Day driving for clear skies, tour stops, and the loud laughs; giving your mind space to think creatively, admire any views you may have, and playing a good game of spoto.
But driving is also dangerous.
One late night after finishing a quality 3–7-hour McDonalds shift my amazing cousin picked me up and was willing to take me home. He wasn't allowed to drive me anywhere
unless for AFL or work purposes due to his 8 attempts at getting his red P plates. For work purposes, it meant whenever mum didn't want to take me or pick me up. So, my cousin & I took the long route home; we talked some shit and pathetically spun some wheels, he was always too chicken to spin the wheels properly.
But then I called him a pussy and said he wouldn't do it.......
We did it.......
This is how the conversation went.
Cousin "I went to Lismore the other night, want to go to Lismore again with me?"
Me "Yeah, I’m down"
Cousin "Nah, we better not. Your mum will get mad. She’s a bitch when she is mad; no offense”.
Me "No, she won’t even know. She will be asleep”.
Cousin "No your mum will kill me, I'm lucky to be doing this”.
There was a silent pause as we pulled up to the traffic lights.
Cousin “Nah we better not, she will find out. She always finds out.”
Me “Fucking pussy”
We waited for the light to turn green, probably about 1 minute; and we didn’t go straight at that intersection.
As we start turning right from the middle of the road “Where are we going?” I ask.
We started driving to Lismore at 11 pm.
We made a McDonalds coffee run, a fuel stop & then we were off. Playing all the best from the 90's & 2000's punk rock.
It was a great drive, great conversations & great music; we had just travelled through the mountain range that separates Queensland & New South Wales (for those who know the roads, we travelled through Beaudesert) when the phone rang. Yes; yes, it was.
It was now about 12:30, 1:00 am.
Her: "Hey ________, where are you"
The pause in the ummmmm that followed was tense and eery. "Uuuuuummmmmm we’re just driving around the city" My cousin replied.
"Okay well, are you with Lexx?"
"Yes, I picked him up from work"
"Okay, you are going to bring him home now. Drop him off, you know the rules”.
"Okay _________ we will be back in about 30 minutes”.
"30 MINUTES, YOU SAID YOU WERE IN THE CITY!"
"Yeah the city, around the city, northside. We're just hanging out”.
"I don't care, home now!"
We were probably 30 minutes from Lismore so we were at best 2 hours away from home, not 30 minutes.I could get away with things, I had my tricks; my cousin was not so fortunate. So, in this instance I wasn't getting in trouble he was. We did a 180 spin and flawed it back home to try to cut the drive in half, which was never going to happen; especially because it had been raining the previous days. What was supposed to be a 1-hour attempt at a 2-hour drive turned into a 6 hour nightmare. We were flying back through the mountain range at speed; probably about 80km; I was the GPS telling my cousin which direction to turn (there was next to no visibility), left turn, right turn, right turn. I took my eyes away for a split second and was a second behind in my direction.
We went off the road and down into the forestation. Thankfully neither of us was hurt, and the car survived a few more months. But due to where we were in NSW & QLD tow truck companies were sending us back and forth; mum kept ringing every minute but due to horrible reception, we couldn't get many words in. We were stuck in the middle of a mountain with no help, no car, no food, no water and one pissed off woman.
Thankfully someone came to our rescue a short 2-3 hours later; a local motorcyclist who was photographing a big, annual, community ride through the mountains. He waved over the biggest hill billy looking, beat up ute driving red neck you could find. The redneck grabbed his chain and ripped the car out of its current bed; exactly how you would imagine a hillbilly redneck would.
We washed the car before driving home to face the noise. We both got the silent treatment at first but my cousin got a scolding later. I got a grounding later.
Reading this you might think, how is this a bad boy on your behalf? Well it's not really. It's just a good story with a hint of "you're a little shit”.
I will be back next year, until then have an amazing holiday, share the time with your loved ones, friends, and family. Give back, give more.
Wish you all a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!
The world of love,
The Perfect Gentleman.
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